PAOCBC Rave page
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PAOCBC Rave page |
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2004: 12th Annual Self Admiration Basketball Club Lunch Good work to everyone who came to the club lunch it was a fun/exciting day - for those of you who did not come you missed what I hear was a fun/exciting day. As most of you know every year I try to do a report breaking down the festivities but this year I remember very little - what I do remember I will report on and what I don't remember I will make up. Thanks to the guys in the club who helped by emailing me some of their highlight, G-nat, A, Rock n' Roll, Hendo, Lenny and S-Lambert. I would have liked to write more on all the club's members individual movements but as I say I recall very little - I have no idea of when any of you arrived or left so my apologies in advance. There are a lot of Palky highlights below but I hear they are the best bits so I can I only give you what you want. Have Fun P! - Ben "Palky" Palk going to get the trophies at 9.00 am hungover as a dog and realising that the trophies were a big pile of crap - then thinking to himself "the lads will love these". - Palky having to go all the way back home to get the Incredible Hat and B's pennant - Andrew "A" Williams and Palky arriving at an unknown location (I have been told to keep it secret so not as to incriminate anyone - Google searches have a lot to answer for) so the boys could start on the task of put the stats in plastic sheets and then ring binders. The Lads surprised a lot easier than last year when they did it drunk. - A and Palky going on a gay shopping spree to buy chocolates and a new polo shirt for A. . - -Palky discovering that pink
shirts are now in for dudes and telling the shop keep "no self respecting
man would wear a pink shirt". - A and Palky (separately mind you) taking the Cleveland Browns to the Superbowl before going to the lunch. A's Browns put in a stinker. - A and Palky arriving with trophies, pennants, stats and an Appetite for Destruction. - Palky setting up the trophies the wrong way round so when the club found their seats they could easily spy the winners. - Palky pulling the cunning rouse of taping up 2 shield on the Club Champion trophy so any unsuspecting punter may think there would be joint winners. - Ryan "Manners" Williams making concerted effort not to wear track pants like 2003. - Manners being very polite about the effort that Palky put in doing the stats. - Realising that Mark "Max Power" Powell and Matt "Rough Justice" Just mortal enemy was probably Cliff "Hurburglar" Hurburgh - Max Power leaving early and not paying for lunch but still having beer. Palky asked for $10 but Max was having none of it. - Patrick "Diners" Khoo hassling Simon "G-Nat" Miller out about paying with a $100 note. - Palky collecting money off the club for the lunch and somehow giving A an amount of money non divisible by $30. Maths is not Palky's strong suit. - Manners being very polite about the effort that Palky put in organising the lunch. - Sean "Rock n' Roll" Heylen's excellent MCing and crazy shoes - The message from Shane "Vanilla" Moynihan to "keep living the dream", saying how that he still misses PAOCBC something terrible, basketball was never the same when he left & referring to his game as "lanky wiry style of play" - Tom "Theo" Huxtable and David "Bling Bling" Leung dealing with their 3 trophies and accepting 2 of them on behalf of the rookies who weren't there - meaning that all 3 photos look exactly the same. The rookies telling us how much they didn't used to look forward to training at school, but love the way we all train & have a good time - Mezze plates arriving confusing the lads, yet tasty! - G-Nat wandering around with a fork in his hand picking the best bits off some of the remaining plates - The good efforts by The Palk in having a wide selection of dishes for main course, only to find that most people went for a parmy or steak - Liam "Chad" Golding unfortunately having his watch set on LST - Liam Standard Time - and arriving whenever the hell he felt like it and then springing straight into his Monday speech - Guy "Flair" Collins and Mark "S-Lambert" Lambert being genuinely surprised with winning a Crazy Wednesday award. - Palky saying that he was told by A not to swear during any of his speeches and trying his hardest not to in his B's speech as he rubbed into the club that he lead his to a Championship. - Grant "The Excitement Machine" Nalder being back to back Saturday A MVP - Chad being awarded Club Champion and in an excellent/humble speech recalling how much he missed the Club when he was overseas, how he missed the social side & the friendship - Realisation of significance of "Academy awards" statue on Club Champ trophy (oooof!). - Ben "The Fear" Christie, Flair, Matt "Trimmy" Trim, Mark "Lenny" Waters and Palky all being awarded Life Memberships. - Lenny bringing his better half along to witness his Life Membership, and giving a great acceptance speech, which was very inspiring, one of the real highlights of the day - Trimmy not being at the lunch to accept his Life Membership - only missed the 2 biggest awards he will ever get in the club - but hey he owns a pub which is still pretty cool - Palky finally breaking the swearing barrier during his Life Member speech when he dropped the "F" bomb - Matt "Madman" Williams coming along and then going to 6ers game - James "Gusto" McGuffog getting stuck in to the drinks before heading off to the first of two 21sts - 14 hours of free drinks - A telling everyone to pull up their socks & get drinking as the package drew to a close - Manners getting madder and madder throughout the day as Palky continually referred to himself in the 3rd person. Palky loved it! - Theo and Bling Bling representing the Rookies, who carried out their beer-wench duties with aplomb. They did their duties then left. - The surly check shirt waiter - Free hats being handed out and the club all looking like dorks. That said respect to Lenny - The appearance of Ben Ean Moselle, which according to Andrew "Toddy" Todd was an old favourite in hometown Millicent & was affectionately known as the "leg-spreader". The magical qualities of that potion were evident before too long - Tim "BB" Wong being announced the hottest member of the club. He then became Asian Spice which was then shortened to SpiceA. - Hurburglar surely being irritated that he is not voted the hottest club man. - Hurburglar refusing to take
off his shirt for the ladies despite their cat calls - Lenny's wife telling us about the time Lenny got knocked out - very funny! We won! - Hamish "Red Myst" Saunders texting that he has food poisoning and he is not coming. - Various punters going to the kitchen for string for their trophies, A and Nathan "G-Man" Graham making crappy loops for trophies - various little plastic men getting tied up in uncomfortable ways. - "Magic" James Hill handing Palky a phone. Palky saying hello and hearing a lot of giggling and realising that A has called Magic on Palky's phone. A very funny gag - if you are not paying for the call - which Palky was. Palky was steamed. - Palky's Sarin gas like farts that cleared the lads at 40 paces (an Auschwitz type situation) - Rough Justice wearing E1 flag as loin-cloth. - The rain staying away - Diners turning Palky's Life Member certificate upside down if the frame. Palky's protests of "Hey don't f*** with the frame". - S-Lambert saying "don't f*** with the frame" in every increasing pitch every time he saw Palky. - The presidential table's embarrassingly good stockpiling of beverages - The 3 cartons of Pale which were nicely iced and were gratefully accepted at the end of the package, thankyou Coopers - The arrival of "others", strange people from the real world, wondering why we were all so toasted at 4pm - some getting to the glass door and turning back - Club Champ Chad (from now on known as CCC) spotted drinking white wine straight from the bottle - Hens' Night arrives and swarms to A - Lads swarm to Hens' Night - In the presence of the Hens' Night G-man admitting that he loved cock and everyone else (including the ladies) loving the muff. - Hens' Night making very clever exit - The lads moving inside, the disappearance of Troy "Trev" Tirrell, Mike "Old Skool" Tye and "Papa" Phil Motteram and the appearance of Matt "Dragster" Davis, Simon "Chains" Hains and Tom "Philly" Phillips. - The can money and the club paying for rounds of drinks till about 8pm, meaning very few had to be bought by club members & partners - in some cases no more drinks were needed - Palky telling G-Nat that Toni Pearen was hot while watching Funniest Home Videos - and 2 minutes later messaging to tell him the same thing - Flair's Mrs Bec (FMB) excellent drinking and general partying form. - Khoo/Golding girlfriend's (KGB) lesbian act - and the call "they're bi-sexual" being heard from one random punter - A's MVP The Excitement Machine's chilling in the front bar with the Incredible Hat on - Chain's announcement of migration to football next season and subsequent abuse - The comfy benches of Trimmy's horseshoe lounge area which were used by a member of KGB to have a bit of a kip to wear off the effects of the Moselle - FMB being grumpy that someone didn't make her a string holder for her box of chocolates - G-Nat running around taking drink orders while he kept the tab on, unfortunately forgetting Mark "Hendo" Henderson's beer 3 times. - FMB writing on G-Nat's hand that A was a bitch, and then writing on anyone's arm that was nearby - Toddy insisting that consumption of the Alpha Pale Ale at the Archer was a must, so the crowd moved their way up to O'Connell Street - The club's move to the Archers. A mass of trophies, life memberships, sunnies etc. being dumped in Palky's car. On the way to the car the Club's pride and joy The A's Intercol Trophy (with only about 30 years history) being dropped and the base being smashed. Oh well only got 10 months to fix it. - The Excitement Machine on the walk Archers realises he'd forgotten his trophy, calling Sean's mobile, putting on a woman's (falsetto) voice and saying "Hi Sean, it's Kate here, listen, I'm having the baby, so you better come quick. Oh and don't forget to bring Grant Nalder's trophy" - The Excitement Machine then following up with "hmmm, perhaps I better call and tell him it was a joke". Calling back, & in the same voice The Excitement Machine saying "Hi Sean, was a false alarm, but don't forget Grant's trophy.." - FMB being asked for ID at Archers and several club members wishing that they were still young enough to be asked - apparently their immature antics weren't enough to warrant being asked - Loud karaoke being sung by several players - The Excitement Machine's amazing form with the laydeez. - Manners (like 2002 Luncheon) attempting the pick up (unsure if successfully) - The Excitement Machine telling Rock n' Roll that due to the fact he could no longer understand him it was probably best that he went home. R'n'R heeded the advice and left for some much needed R'n'R. - The fact that barely anyone has an recollection of any of the antics that went on at the Archers - Incredible Hat popularity with punters in general including bouncers at Archers - FMB being bailed up by Palky to try and find him a girlfriend. Palky informing Flair that FMB and one of her mates and Palky and he are going to go on a double date. Flair looking 100% unenthused - Palky being politely asked to leave Archers by the bouncer. Palky asked "why are you asking me to leave?", - bouncer replied "we have had complaints that you are irritating other patrons". Palky replied "yeah mate, that is coz I am irritating". He failed to see the humour. - The absolute anomaly of a very drunk Palky walking around Archers with Red Myst's Matt Trim trophy around his neck, the Incredible Hat on and the B's pennant in hand and not picking up. - Palky leaving Archers at 12.30 ish (who really knows) and drinking with another crew till 4.30 pm. - Palky somehow getting home with the B's pennant still in his hand. Only problem Myst's Matt Trim trophy no where to be found and more shocking The Incredible Hat looking all but lost. - Palky getting a phone call at 10 am Sunday morning from mate Tom "2-Ezy" Evans asking why the hell he woke up to find a giant Red & White Hat on his coffee table - his guess is as good as mine. - Palky thinking "ahhh ... the basketball lunch, only 12 months till another one". - The Hurburglar never did get off his shirt Thanks lads. Feel free to email me any other highlights you remember. Again this has been a fantastic year both on and off the court. I appreciate all of your efforts for making this one of the finest clubs basketball clubs in Adelaide. I hope to see you all at the AGM next year. And as Sean would say "Rock and Roll - YEEAAAAHH!" ;-) Palky!
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